Before the Train and after

In the short story, the author starts with an event that is affecting the way the main character thinks and her daily live. There are short paragraphs that sound like it could be a poem. She's trying to choose from a memory of Paul which feels like a ghost or Jeremy. I don't understand who Paul is to her or if he's just an imagination. The parts with Paul are a little confusing, that's why I think they are memories because they don't seem real. Maybe he is her ex-boyfriend, and might be dead. It might be it because she's like sad but wants to be happy again. She learning to accept her new life with Jeremy. Learning to move on and love again. I believe this because she just having a one year anniversary with Jeremy. Also, I feel like she blames herself for what happened to Jeremy.